He loves me enough

This has been one of those trying weeks.

Emotions seriously out of whack, crying unnecessary tears of disappointment.

But in the midst of the pain and anguish, God’s shown that He does know what is best for me.

And He loves me enough to withhold from me something that I thought I wanted but was completely out of His plan.

Sometimes we place unrealistic expectations on those around us, whether it be our friends, colleagues, spouses.  We put them up on a pedestal  and we begin to link our happiness and sometimes our contentment to how they treat us or respond to us.  I know I did.

And how loving is He to care enough that each time I begin to ground my happiness on whether or not someone meets my expectations, He withholds that relationship from me.

Once I refocus and get my head on straight again, once I go to Him as my source of joy and satisfaction, it’s like He allows me to have it back again, keeping an eye on me and making sure I don’t let my own flesh get in the way of something He has gifted me.  He is after all a jealous God – when things or people start to take His place in our lives, He has the authority, power and love to take those things/people away.

You give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name.  

Lord, thank you for clarity like never before.  Forgive me for abusing what you had gifted me.  Help me to value and treasure what is presently before me and respect and love those around me within the boundaries you’ve already laid out for me.  Thank you for giving me insight to your grand plans for me and thank you for your patience with me.

“Keep my commandments and live, and keep my law and teaching as the apple of your eye.  Bind them on your fingers, write them on the tablet of your heart.  Say to skilful and godly wisdom, you are my sister and regard understanding or insight as your intimate friend.” – Proverbs 7:2-4 AMP

– Ames –

P.S. Enjoying this song right now…

Impatience uncovered

Oh wow. I just realised that I have used the word “impatient” at least 7 times in the last couple of posts… *sigh*

I think that being impatient really stems from not truely believing that God’s got the best plan for our lives. We’re impatient because we want things to happen on our timeline, not knowing or understanding that whatever we have before us is there for a reason, His purposes. 

I want to repent of this. I need to repent of this.

Impatience also means, in my view, that you start striving to make something happen on your terms or timeline. That equates to stepping outside God’s will which can lead to some dangerous consequences.

So I’m resolving here and now to be patient with life. To relax and chill over things I choose not to control coz I’ve given Him reign in that area of my life.

To not get too enthusiastic about people I click with coz it might scare them away. To not put unrealistic expectations on others. To take things slowly and be at peace with all those around me. To love greatly and forgive quickly.

I’m not saying I’ll get it right all the time but this is the direction I want to travel in.

– Ames –

the value of solitude

My dad has been subscribing to A Minute with John Maxwell for a few months now and I like to watch them when I remember (it’s just one minute of your life after all!) and Today’s Word was Solitude.  Two quotes stuck out for me:

Reflection turns experience into insight.

In our desire to grow and go, we many times need to pause and let growth catch up with us.

I think solitude has been devalued in our society.  We’re told that we’ve got to stay connected via Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Google+, blogs or any other forms of social media- all the time, all day, everyday to not miss out on what’s going on for fear of being left out of the loop…  I’m guilty of this most days.  However, I think the greatest moments in my life have been where I’ve taken time out from the busy pace of everyday living to gather my thoughts, reflect and journal/blog about what I can learn from something I’ve read, heard or experienced.  Once I’ve done that, I can internalise it and it then becomes a part of my working-knowledge of how to respond should I ever be in that particular situation again.

I remember my mum telling me once about a comment that my old piano teacher had made about me.  My old piano teacher teaches my brother after hours now so she sees my mum most weeks during the school term.  Anyhow, her comment was along the lines of, ‘Amy is the one of the wisest girls her age that I know.’

Now stop.  Pause.  Wisest girl she knows?  That’s a big statement because she teaches at a girl school and hence knows many, many girls and in I’m sure that amongst them, there must be someone wiser than me.  I’ve never really thought of myself as wise but I do seek after wisdom.   

Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. – Proverbs 9:10

May we all take the time out today (and everyday) to reflect and grow in wisdom.

♥ Ames

A prayer at 22

There are some things you only learn with age.

When you are young, you believe that all the friends that you have will be there forever.  When you are young, you think you know it all and you can do it all.

When you have a few more candles on your birthday cake, you realise that though some may stay a bit longer, most friends were only ever going to be there for a season no matter how many pinky promises or pledges were made.  When you have a few more candles on your birthday cake, you’ll find that there are a whole new set of travellers who are willing and able to take the next leg of the journey with you.

When you are older, you learn to not hold on as tight as you used to.  When you are older, you learn it’s okay to let go and it’s okay for things to not last forever.

A prayer at 22

Teach me to live with wisdom, Lord.  Teach me to be wise in the decisions I make (since life is really just a series of decisions after all).  Teach me to be wise in how I use my time – help me to be wise in the movies I watch, the music I listen to, the words I say, the thoughts I meditate on.  I need Your wisdom.  My life is Yours.  Make me more like Jesus.  Pour out more of me so that there is more room for You to shine in and through me.  Give me Your eyes to see the world as it truly is.  In Your Name, Amen.

♥ Ames

Like This: There is a time + Amazing Grace

I was reminded again of a beautiful passage of wisdom from the Bible today:

Ecclesiastes 3 (NLT)

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

A lot of things have fallen into place lately and after today’s happy news, there is nothing more I can do but point to God’s amazing grace.  I heard this version of the timeless hymn on the way home today…

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I’m found
Was blind, but now I see
‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

Chorus:
My chains are gone
I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

Chorus(x2)

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

– Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone), Chris Tomlin

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” – Romans 8:28 (NLT)

I feel totally unworthy and infinitely blessed.  Thank you for Your amazing grace, Your overflowing goodness and Your unfailing love for me.

♥ April

The Benefits of Wisdom

My child, listen to what I say,
  and treasure my commands.
Tune your ears to wisdom,
  and concentrate on understanding.
Cry out for insight,
  and ask for understanding.
Search for them as you would for silver;
  seek them like hidden treasures.
Then you will understand what it means to fear the LORD,
  and you will gain knowledge of God.
For the LORD grants wisdom!
  From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest.
  He is a shield to those who walk with integrity.
He guards the paths of the just
  and protects those who are faithful to him.

Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair,
  and you will find the right way to go.
For wisdom will enter your heart,
  and knowledge will fill you with joy.
Wise choices will watch over you.
  Understanding will keep you safe.

Proverbs 2:1-11 (NLT)

Selah.

♥ April