early morning musings…

It’s almost 2am and I just finished my first draft of a lesson plan.

Mind you I did start quite late in the evening and probably procrastinated a lot of that time away in the process.

However, I guess somehow I underestimated (once again) how much time it would take me to complete the task.

I think it had to do a bit with how near impossible it was to map out ‘Human Rights’ as a topic in a 1 hour lesson plan but also how I seem to think that I can just wing it because I have some teaching experience.  Sitting down and actually working out when I’m going to say what and what students are going to do when has made me realise that (surprise, surprise) I’m not as capable as I once thought.

This seems to have been the lesson of the last few months.  Every time I seem to think I’ve got things under control, I’m knocked off my feet and have to crawl into a foetus position for a few moments before trying to stand up again (OK, that was a bit exaggerated but this late night/early morning has got me feeling a bit dramatic).

Where there are trials though, God’s provision and grace shines much brighter.

I fell on my knees in prayer this morning and later in the day, I received a call for another job interview.  Somehow I feel like those two events are connected.  I think God’s more inclined to “show up” when we acknowledge that we’re in over our heads and we need him to intervene.  If everything was fine and dandy, why would I be so desperate to pray to him?  Now I’m not saying that God causes us pain so that we’ll draw near to him, but I believe that He uses all circumstances to grow us, to stretch us, to mature us so that we can continue being perfected in every way like His Son, Jesus.  I think it’s also so that He gets the glory and we don’t lol.  And because I know that, I can be grateful that I’m still in this waiting period because it means that there’s more that He has yet to teach me in preparation for some big things in the future :).

How exciting is that?

OK better stop here while I’m still making sense…

Adieu.

– Ames –

Thank you.

For your prayers.

They actually started to make a difference last night already.

I felt myself calm down, my perspective change and stress levels diminish.  Somehow I got it in my head that I needed to finish all my readings before each class… I haven’t had that notion since first year of law lol.  That was what had freaked me out.  It is also possible to have seen the whole situation as being a spiritual attack as well.  I had actually contemplated tossing in the towel and not to share this coming Saturday.  I’d begun mediating on the thoughts that I don’t have what it takes, I don’t have the time, it won’t make a difference anyway etc.  Praise God for the prayers of the faithful and intercession of friends and family to get me out of that negativity hole.  I woke up this morning feeling more like myself, ready to meet the world with open arms.  The circumstances were no different from when I woke up on Monday morning but my perception of the circumstances had shifted.  And that has made all the difference :).

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

His grace is sufficient to meet all my needs.

I am not a victim of my circumstances but a victor of my adversity.

♥ Ames

Note:

Sometimes we can’t comprehend why certain things happen.  It’s during those times that we have to trust that God has us in the palm of His hands and He is causing all things to work together for our good.  Just as His words says.*  I’ve found that the greater the trial, the greater the lessons are to be gained and the blessings that flow.  The question is: Will we trust Him?  Will you trust Him?

Obviously I can’t predict the future.  I also don’t know what you are currently going through but I pray that you’ll cling to God in your pain.  “There’s purpose behind everything.”  Even if it’s beyond our understanding.

Praying for you.  I love you, darling girl.

Remember that.

♥ Ames

*Romans 8:28

inward, outward, upward

The email I sent out at 5:30am:
With our youth pastor’s challenge at yesterday’s 2pm meeting for us to set aside time each day for some one-to-one time just for God in the next two weeks, I thought I’d share with you what He taught me today.  God is always speaking to us, it is just a matter of whether or not we take the time to hear what He has to say.
Today the key passage in the devotional that I’m using to aid my quiet time with God was: Jeremiah 31:18-19.
Here is the NLT version that always speaks to me so much more profoundly:
“I have heard Israel saying, “You disciplined me severely but I deserved it.  I was like a calf that needed to be trained for the yoke and plow.  Turn me again to you and restore me for you alone are the Lord, my God.  I turned away from God, but then I was sorry.  I kicked myself for my stupidity.  I was thoroughly ashamed of all I did in my younger days.”
For me, this could have been my own words for the personal trials that I’ve been through in the past 12 months.  I hope to elaborate more as I know many who have yet to hear the whole story, some not even aware because I just haven’t felt that it was the time to share yet… but I soon will :).

Anyway, the topic for today spoke of how there are only three ways to look in life: INWARD, OUTWARD and UPWARD… and trials can help us (cause us) to look in all three directions.

Looking INWARD, we can check our response to the trial.
Looking OUTWARD, we can see how our response is impacting others.
Looking UPWARD, we can renew our faith in the One who causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28).

So my encouragement to you, UTMOST, is that if you are going through a trial or a test today or in the future, look in all three directions.  What you will discover, as I have, may become a blessing OR possibly a correction you hadn’t anticipated.

My prayers for you comes from Paul’s prayer for the Ephesus church:
“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how WIDE, how LONG, how HIGH, and how DEEP his love really is.  May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it.  Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God.  Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.  May he be given glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and ever through endless ages.  Amen.” – Ephesians 3:17-21 (NLT)
As we all go on this two-week journey of getting to know our God better, I encourage you to keep a notepad/journal and pen next to you as you spend time in God’s Word and write down what He is speaking to you.
♥ Ames