single and brilliant!

Recently, a friend was praying for me and she said something like, “I find it so hard to believe that she is still single!”

I’m sure she meant nothing more than for it to be an expression of exasperation in the prayer, but the line did stay with me.

So I asked God, “So really, why is it I am still single?”

And then the reply that came back was: “There are still things that I need to work in you, out of you and through you.”

The verse that came to mind was:

 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

I know that there is a purpose for this singleness season… here are just a few things I’ve discovered lately:

So, what is it that He has got to work in me?

I think that one of the things he has been working in me is to develop a greater sense of what each of us is meant to do on this earth.. that is, to display God’s glory in all that we do.  It’s no longer about what I want, but what does He want out of my life?  What does He call me to do?  I feel a growing desire to die to self daily in order that Christ may live and display His love and grace in my life.

What has He got to work out of me?

By the grace of God, I’ve come to understand myself a lot better this year and recognise that I have many flaws lol.  I still have a lot of the ‘fear of man’ in me which often leaves me paralysed in situations where I know I should speak up against blasphemy or injustice.  He still needs to help me overcome feelings of being rejected by society because of the fact that we have a family member who has autism.  So much growth and lessons to be learnt effectively apart from another individual.

What has He got to work through me?

One of the revelations I had the other day is that, “You know what? As a single person, I’m a highly valuable asset to the Church!” I really liked this article because it highlights a sad oversight in most churches and that is in the area of encouraging those of us that are still single.  And I don’t mean encouraging them to go out there and find themselves a good Christian guy/girl to marry!  But rather that: you are not at a disadvantage at being single – that this is actually such a valuable opportunity for you to be completely and utterly devoted to Christ alone!  That you don’t have to wait until you are married or partnered up to reach your potential as a person or a follower of Christ!

I remember a conversation I had with a friend recently about how to set boundaries when it came to interacting with someone of the opposite sex.  I lamented that it would be so much easier if I was already in a relationship because then it’s like a safe guide or something. But my friend told me that it doesn’t necessarily make things easier.  You’d still have to battle through the same temptations and keep yourself accountable.  I believe her words were something along the lines of: “Just because both parties are in a committed relationship doesn’t mean that you are free from impure thoughts or actions!” That is true.

I think this is a life message of sorts: You can be single and brilliant!  It’s a message I think that needs to be heard and lived out… more to be said on the topic but these are just some of the reasons why I believe God has me single right now – and I’m going to embrace this season for all it’s worth!

– Ames

P.S. This is not a put down of marriage – I still want to get married one day! – this is just a start to regaining an appreciation for the season of singleness!

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11/11/11 – embrace it!

So, I was told by an overseas student from China that today is ‘Singles Day’.  I asked what they did to ‘celebrate’ and she said her single friends would get together and complain about being single and some would even go on blind dates to try and end their single days.  I guess it really depends on your definition of single and how you view your single years.  For me, I’m actually going to take the time today to really celebrate being single :).

via Tumblr (click through)

I see the single years as a gift from God, a time to grow and stretch and to be ALL I can be as a single woman and when/if I reach that point in my life where God says, ‘You can serve me better with another’, then I’ll change my tune :).  To me, being single isn’t a status, it’s a season.  A season of possibilities and potential; potential because your time is your own and there are no limitations on what God can do in you and through you.  It’s a season where you can learn to depend on God fully and completely and I believe that this is best done while you are still single because you won’t be distracted by having another ‘significant other’ in your life.  You don’t have to match your times with someone else’s schedule or take on another’s burden too close to heart.  There’s a certain freedom that comes with this season that I find extremely rewarding and personally wouldn’t like to have it any other way right now.  To my ‘attached-friends’, please don’t think I’m hating on you or bitter, it’s quite the contrary in fact :).  I don’t think being single is better necessarily… I think there’s beauty and purpose behind each season of your life and whether that is being single or being in a relationship right now, you can either be the best you can be or complain, wanting something that isn’t God’s best for you right now.  There’s a time for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3).

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