These past few days have been very trying for the soul.
Conflict drains you emotionally and spiritually, and that affects a person physically as well. Something makes me feel that perhaps that forced time-out last week was to prepare me for what was perhaps the most challenging few days of my life thus far.
At the same time, I’ve become acutely aware of what an amazingly supportive network God has placed around me. My parents have been a constant source of wisdom and godly counsel each step of the way. They have prayed with me and for me, along with many others who were just an email or text or Facebook message away. Thank you to those who have been interceding on my behalf. I am so blessed.
The Word has guided my words and refreshed me when my strength was failing. Jesus’ example has been my model for approaching the situation and by putting on love, by the grace of God, our efforts for unity were realised. Praise God! There are still some feelings hurt and I’ve written about forgiveness enough to know and advise (in time) that forgiveness is more for yourself than for the person that hurt you, whether the harm caused was intentionally or not. Forgiveness brings freedom from bitterness and anger and allows you to love like Christ.
In other news: Job interview on Monday – prayers appreciated :).
– Ames –
‘Evangelism without prayer is like a bomb without a detonator and prayer without evangelism is like a detonator without a bomb.’
– Dutch Sheets, The Prayer Summit
I think 2012 has really been the year that I’ve seen the power of prayer manifest more greatly than all years preceding it. Perhaps it’s because it’s the year that God has birth some big dreams in my heart and the hearts of those around me that we know would be impossible without divine intervention. I’ve directly witnessed and been involved in the salvation stories of more people than I had in all the years before. We’ve seen an old fire for campus ministries relit and fanned into flames again. Our church has almost doubled in size in the last 9 months. We’re seeing families on the brink of divorce be restored and bloom more beautifully than ever before.
But there is still work to be done.
Throughout the ages, prayer has been the key to all great revivals so why go doing things the hard way?
Pray and let’s see an explosion of God’s favour and manifestation on this generation!
– Ames –
Ah, God. You are so good to me. I seem to be constantly in awe of how you are just bringing everything together to work for my good. Your favour and blessing in my life just floors me. If only people would open their hearts to you, I know that your love would just flood in and overflow in a way that would amaze them as well.
A week ago, I was on my way back from a life-changing weekend in Qld. I still find it hard at times to adequately articulate how impacted I was from the wisdom, experience and personal stories that I drank up, but what left the greatest impression on me was the importance and the necessary role that prayer plays in any revival. When we pray, we are acknowledging that we can’t do it on our own. We are acknowledging that it is only through the power of God, that light can break through the darkness. We are surrendering our plans to God and asking for Him to lead.
A song was birthed in my soul on the last morning as well. I’d been going through a creative drought, having written my last song about a year ago, but this one was almost effortless. Only possible if it was God-given.
It’s been a slow process but things are finally moving along with the prayer group at law school! We have a room booked for the mid-semester break where we hope to gather all who have come in the past so that we can share the direction and vision of where this group is going. God is good! I’m thankful for the team that has been cheering me on all this way but it honestly hasn’t been easy. At times, I feel like I’m the only one who is driving this group forward. Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually wants to be apart of it. Sometimes I wonder if it really makes a difference at all.
But then God sends someone who needed that word of encouragement, an email comes through to lift my spirits, people rally together to lend their support and then I’m reminded that it is God that is driving this forward. I am just his vessel. And then the stress dissipates. He is the one that changes hearts and opens minds to see His purpose.
This group is bigger than just me and the current students that come. It’s about setting something up for future students – a network for them to connect with legal practitioners who share the same values and belief system, who can mentors and guide the lawyers of tomorrow in practising faith in the workplace. It’s about empowering believers to stand up for truth and justice but to love and speak with grace and gentleness.
Praise God for His faithfulness. I know in my own capacity, I could not do it. I cannot do it. BUT, his grace is sufficient, for His power is made perfect in my weakness. “Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
For your prayers.
They actually started to make a difference last night already.
I felt myself calm down, my perspective change and stress levels diminish. Somehow I got it in my head that I needed to finish all my readings before each class… I haven’t had that notion since first year of law lol. That was what had freaked me out. It is also possible to have seen the whole situation as being a spiritual attack as well. I had actually contemplated tossing in the towel and not to share this coming Saturday. I’d begun mediating on the thoughts that I don’t have what it takes, I don’t have the time, it won’t make a difference anyway etc. Praise God for the prayers of the faithful and intercession of friends and family to get me out of that negativity hole. I woke up this morning feeling more like myself, ready to meet the world with open arms. The circumstances were no different from when I woke up on Monday morning but my perception of the circumstances had shifted. And that has made all the difference :).
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
His grace is sufficient to meet all my needs.
I am not a victim of my circumstances but a victor of my adversity.
So, I was told by an overseas student from China that today is ‘Singles Day’. I asked what they did to ‘celebrate’ and she said her single friends would get together and complain about being single and some would even go on blind dates to try and end their single days. I guess it really depends on your definition of single and how you view your single years. For me, I’m actually going to take the time today to really celebrate being single :).
via Tumblr (click through)
I see the single years as a gift from God, a time to grow and stretch and to be ALL I can be as a single woman and when/if I reach that point in my life where God says, ‘You can serve me better with another’, then I’ll change my tune :). To me, being single isn’t a status, it’s a season. A season of possibilities and potential; potential because your time is your own and there are no limitations on what God can do in you and through you. It’s a season where you can learn to depend on God fully and completely and I believe that this is best done while you are still single because you won’t be distracted by having another ‘significant other’ in your life. You don’t have to match your times with someone else’s schedule or take on another’s burden too close to heart. There’s a certain freedom that comes with this season that I find extremely rewarding and personally wouldn’t like to have it any other way right now. To my ‘attached-friends’, please don’t think I’m hating on you or bitter, it’s quite the contrary in fact :). I don’t think being single is better necessarily… I think there’s beauty and purpose behind each season of your life and whether that is being single or being in a relationship right now, you can either be the best you can be or complain, wanting something that isn’t God’s best for you right now. There’s a time for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3).
I’ve finally come to the end of the clerkship application writing process… as in I’ve done and sent off all the cover letters and now the waiting process begins. HOWEVER, I just got a call to notify me that I got short-listed!! There was a brief phone interview and I’ll find out in two weeks or so if the application has gone further… What was most amazing for me was how my dad had said he’d pray that I’d get a notification of an interview today and it ACTUALLY happened! IMHO, that’s just another example of the power of prayer :D.
OK, back to work haha.
There are some things you only learn with age.
When you are young, you believe that all the friends that you have will be there forever. When you are young, you think you know it all and you can do it all.
When you have a few more candles on your birthday cake, you realise that though some may stay a bit longer, most friends were only ever going to be there for a season no matter how many pinky promises or pledges were made. When you have a few more candles on your birthday cake, you’ll find that there are a whole new set of travellers who are willing and able to take the next leg of the journey with you.
When you are older, you learn to not hold on as tight as you used to. When you are older, you learn it’s okay to let go and it’s okay for things to not last forever.
A prayer at 22
Teach me to live with wisdom, Lord. Teach me to be wise in the decisions I make (since life is really just a series of decisions after all). Teach me to be wise in how I use my time – help me to be wise in the movies I watch, the music I listen to, the words I say, the thoughts I meditate on. I need Your wisdom. My life is Yours. Make me more like Jesus. Pour out more of me so that there is more room for You to shine in and through me. Give me Your eyes to see the world as it truly is. In Your Name, Amen.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
– Philippines 4:6-9 (NLT)
Thank you for knowing my needs before I even vocalise them. Thank you, God for the sisterhood. Thank you for awesome girls to do life with.
Thank you for the opportunities that have come my way. I give everything over into your hands and receive Your peace.