That’s how I would describe how I feel right now. I must have been living out such a dampened version of myself for so long that I’d forgotten just how amazing it is to be completely free and fully alive in Christ! I imagine this is how some people feel like after they have received Christ for the first time after living in darkness for many years… to have the light switches flicked on and the world become bright, beautiful and technicolour :).
By the grace of God, I grew up in a strong Christian home. There hasn’t been a day where I was not aware that God loved me and for that I am so thankful. However, because of such a strong foundation, there was also no miraculous conversion story – my faith journey had always been a steady one of gradual growth and maturity up to October 2009. This is not necessarily a bad thing but I think I began to settle into a comfortable kind of Christianity, where prayer and reading the Bible was more about what I wanted and thought I needed and very little about practically reaching out to the lost souls that are crying out for a Saviour. I think I became complacent and started living out from a place of working for my righteousness rather than depending on God’s grace in all areas of my life. It became time for God to shake me out of my self-focused Christian stupor.
I remember once secretly wishing that I had an awesome testimony like the drug dealers and prostitutes who suddenly surrender their lives to Christ after an encounter with God. I wished that I would have an amazing story to tell people where they would just get blown away with God’s grace and love. Be careful of what you wish for as you might just get more than you bargained for lol.