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tired but not burnt out… yet.

It has come up a few times this year.

Probably for the past month I’ve felt it more than ever before.

That sense of being weary and journey-worn.

I’m sure more than once I’ve mentally responded to the usual, “How are you?”, with “I’m tired.”

It’s been a big year.  More so than anticipated.

I think I underestimated how draining full-time work can be on the body, mind and soul.  I’ve only just realised that I’ve been trying to play Superwoman for most of this year and it hasn’t been a healthy outcome.  I’ve been stressed, I’ve felt like a failure when I can’t execute tasks as well as I thought I should be… so close to burning out…

BUT not yet.  And let’s hope never.

It’s time to change strategies.  Actually, it’s time to change the mind, or more importantly renew the mind.

I’ve been reading the e-book, “Tired of Trying to Measure Up” – Google and you’ll find the author’s name – and found myself relating to a lot of the examples highlighted by the author who is a Christian counsellor.  In particular, he talked about how people who shame-based background/environment can get caught up in this cycle of try-harder/give-up i.e. you try so hard to gain the approval of others or to avoid criticism to the point that you eventually just give up because it’s too hard… then once you’ve ‘rested’ enough, you get up and try harder than before etc.

I find myself relating to that… a lot.

The solution?  Fight the fight of faith and renew your mind.  How to renew your mind and fight the fight of faith?  Read THE WORD.  Reeducate yourself on who you are in Christ.

“Christ has already accomplished it all on the cross.  Nothing I could do could make Him love me more, nothing I do could make Him love me less.  He loves me.  Period.  I don’t have to earn His approval because He already approves me in Christ.”

These are statements I know in my head and tell others about but I think that somehow along the way, I’ve fallen back into old habits and believed the lies that I need to “do good” to “be good” enough for God’s approval.

That’s not to say that we sit back and do nothing.  God has given us tasks to do on this earth to further His Kingdom.  However, it’s from what motivation do we go about the tasks that determines whether we will actually succeed or eventually burn out from working out of our own strength.

Lord, I am indeed tired.  Tired of trying to measure up to your standards.  I’ve realised that no matter how hard I try, I can’t meet your standards because you are so perfect and that on my own, I fall short of your glory.  The Good News is that Jesus meets your standard.  He IS the standard!  And through believing in Him and declaring Him my Lord and Saviour, I automatically, with nothing under my belt except the fact that I’m now a child of God, meet the standard too.  I’m made perfect in Christ.  Just as Christ is seated at your right hand, so am I in my spirit.  Help me to remember that and let that reality sink down deep and flow out in the way I view the tasks you’ve given me to accomplish on this earth.  Amen.

– Ames

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