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the little details

Apologies to the readers/visitors of this blog.

That resolve to put out better content last month was completely sincere but I guess life doesn’t always take you down the path that you expect.

This past month has really been a series of brilliant highs and the lowest of lows.  I think the lows that have really thrown me off the most were having the dreams that I had built up regarding my career and the future leadership of the law students group start to crumble around me.  It just shatters your spirit and has at times left me feeling numb, perhaps as a way of coping with the sense of despair.  Unfulfilled expectations can drain the life out of you.

But (there is thankfully always a caveat!), God’s been faithful.  Rarely do I get a chance to wallow in self-pity because He has placed all these people around me to buoy me up.  Wallowing is a self-defeating luxury that I fortunately have limited experience in.

I was blessed by the passage in Psalm 139 this week where King David speaks about how God knows and cares about every little detail of our lives… to paraphrase the passage would not do it justice so I’ll just bold the ones that spoke to me most profoundly this week:

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

Psalm 139: 1-18

My future is safely in your hands, Lord.

I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made!

You already know how this story ends so I trust you to guide me.

– Ames –

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