I think I now understand why Paul said:
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
– 2 Corinthians 12: 7-9.
There’s this ‘thing’ that’s like a thorn in my side. At times I really do ask God, “Why can’t it just disappear already?” or “Why does it still constantly plague me?” But, His answer is the same: “My grace is sufficient.” It keeps me humble, knowing that I can’t love like God unless it is through the love of Christ. I can’t forgive and forget unless I remember that He did it first and when I completely didn’t deserve it. It keeps me from getting too proud and reminds me that I’m not perfect, so why should I judge others for their mistakes.
It’s something that I have to learn to live with and every time it flares up in my memory, instead of anger, sadness, guilt or shame, it should remind me of grace. Lots and lots of grace. Praise God for His grace.