So, I was told by an overseas student from China that today is ‘Singles Day’. I asked what they did to ‘celebrate’ and she said her single friends would get together and complain about being single and some would even go on blind dates to try and end their single days. I guess it really depends on your definition of single and how you view your single years. For me, I’m actually going to take the time today to really celebrate being single :).
I see the single years as a gift from God, a time to grow and stretch and to be ALL I can be as a single woman and when/if I reach that point in my life where God says, ‘You can serve me better with another’, then I’ll change my tune :). To me, being single isn’t a status, it’s a season. A season of possibilities and potential; potential because your time is your own and there are no limitations on what God can do in you and through you. It’s a season where you can learn to depend on God fully and completely and I believe that this is best done while you are still single because you won’t be distracted by having another ‘significant other’ in your life. You don’t have to match your times with someone else’s schedule or take on another’s burden too close to heart. There’s a certain freedom that comes with this season that I find extremely rewarding and personally wouldn’t like to have it any other way right now. To my ‘attached-friends’, please don’t think I’m hating on you or bitter, it’s quite the contrary in fact :). I don’t think being single is better necessarily… I think there’s beauty and purpose behind each season of your life and whether that is being single or being in a relationship right now, you can either be the best you can be or complain, wanting something that isn’t God’s best for you right now. There’s a time for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3).
I have to admit I didn’t always have this view. I used to be single always with an unhealthy longing to be attached but it took me a taste of being in a relationship to realise the amazing window of opportunity it is to be single and utterly surrendered to the things of God. I’m not saying I don’t later want to be attached and then married (just see these!) and again, I’m not saying you can’t be utterly surrendered to the things of God while you are in a relationship, but it’s just different because you do have another individual added into to the mix…
I’m thankful for the awesome teaching I’ve been able to partake in as well… I was never taught much about singleness in the church I grew up in… we touched on it here and there but nothing substantial. The only real straight forward message we ever had about it came from a guest speaker who said, ‘If you aren’t ready to get married, then don’t date.’ Okay…but that doesn’t really give me any guidelines as to what I can do while I’m single… So lately, I’ve felt a real strong desire to share a Biblical view of singleness with the young people of my generation because it seems like the world has distorted our view of the beauty of singleness through television, music, social media etc. The girl is always after some guy and won’t be happy until she gets him… *sigh* So how or where and through which platform shall this lie be reversed? I don’t know yet but I’ll start at my home church with the teens under my care. I don’t want them to miss out on fulfilling their purpose during these precious years. If it makes a difference to even one, it would have all been worth it… Will I still be happy and believing the same truths by the time I’m closer to 30 than 20 and still single? Absolutely! It just means I get more time to be an awesome single :D.
I found an article recently via the darling of potsandkisses that really gave me encouragement and resonates with a lot of how I now view being single:
My Father is working everything out. He will provide for me. Today, I have everything I need for life and godliness. Today, nothing good has been withheld from me. Today, He is ordaining every detail of my day for my good. Today, I don’t need to be anxious about anything because He will take care of me.
The answer to the “why am I single” question is always: Because Jesus loves you. Because this is Him giving you what you need for today. Because this is the only way you’re going to finish this race. Because He promised to give you what was good and best and the key to your ultimate joy—and He’s going to do that, despite your attempts to sabotage your life.
And also my favourite quote:
Would I want it differently? In these moments, the faces of all the people I might have married if I was in “control” flash before my eyes. And I cringe a little. And worship a little.
both via RELEVANT Magazine
So if you are single today, embrace it I say :). Make the most of it! Live in the present, not the past nor the future because this day will never be lived again… instead of spending time complaining about our single statuses, we might as well live today well!
P.S. After I had finished writing this post, I also discovered that 11/11/11 is the first ever Global Day of Worship so another good reason for today not to be a day to be about complaining about being single :P