That’s how I would describe how I feel right now. I must have been living out such a dampened version of myself for so long that I’d forgotten just how amazing it is to be completely free and fully alive in Christ! I imagine this is how some people feel like after they have received Christ for the first time after living in darkness for many years… to have the light switches flicked on and the world become bright, beautiful and technicolour :).
By the grace of God, I grew up in a strong Christian home. There hasn’t been a day where I was not aware that God loved me and for that I am so thankful. However, because of such a strong foundation, there was also no miraculous conversion story – my faith journey had always been a steady one of gradual growth and maturity up to October 2009. This is not necessarily a bad thing but I think I began to settle into a comfortable kind of Christianity, where prayer and reading the Bible was more about what I wanted and thought I needed and very little about practically reaching out to the lost souls that are crying out for a Saviour. I think I became complacent and started living out from a place of working for my righteousness rather than depending on God’s grace in all areas of my life. It became time for God to shake me out of my self-focused Christian stupor.
I remember once secretly wishing that I had an awesome testimony like the drug dealers and prostitutes who suddenly surrender their lives to Christ after an encounter with God. I wished that I would have an amazing story to tell people where they would just get blown away with God’s grace and love. Be careful of what you wish for as you might just get more than you bargained for lol.
There’s so much I want to share, so much to tell the world about but for now I’ll just say that I got my wish. I have my story. And though it didn’t involve drugs or sex (Thank God! I can’t imagine how much longer it would have taken me to overcome it all if I’d gone any further down that path), it testifies loud and clear of the merciful power of the love of God. It has relit the fire in my soul to reach those who have yet to experience the personal God of the Bible, to be a beacon of light and hope in this world that grows darker each day. I am now motivated more than ever before to live out the Great Commission:
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. – Matthew 28:16-20
I’d like to challenge anyone reading this post and calls themselves a ‘Christian’ to evaluate how they spend the best part of their day… is it self-focused or other-focused? Where you invest your time is the path that you’ll walk down… is it worth it? Is there something more than just the ‘average’ Christian life? When you speak, does it lead people closer to God or draw them away to focus on the temporary pleasures of this world? Who has God placed in your circle to influence and point to Jesus? When was the last time you shared the Gospel? (I’m asking myself these questions too.)
The joy, peace, love and grace we have should not be just kept to ourselves… let’s get serious about what it truly means to be a follower of Christ.
Gratitude is born in the heart. And it leads you to action. – A Holy Experience
(sorry if this post is a bit here and there with possible spelling/grammar mistakes – I haven’t really got the time right now to polish it up but I guess this whole story-telling thing is going to take a while to refine)