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full stop.

– 06/11/09

I’ve always highly valued my friendships.  Friendship itself ‘has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival’ (The Four Loves- C.S. Lewis).  Good, honest-to-God friendships are hard to come by and I cherish the ones I have greatly.  But I’ve found my flaw when it comes to friendships.  It can be both a blessing and a curse if wisdom is not involved.  The pattern I’ve noticed is that I tend to want to play the ‘saviour’ role.  I’ve noticed a trend where I will always try to give selflessly of myself to benefit the other individual in the friendship.  If I see a friend in need, I have to find a way to meet it.  Selflessness is a good thing but done as a reaction to a situation without further thought can be damaging.

Lately, I’ve had trouble sleeping and getting up in the mornings has been a challenge.  I’ve found myself on the brink of tears mid-conversation a number of times and my appetite has disappeared.  If that’s not a sign that there is nothing good left to salvage, I don’t know what is.

Hence, it’s time to act.  Not with selfishness but with wisdom.  Godly wisdom.  After some intense prayer time and consultation, it’s become crystal clear what steps need to be taken.  There’s a sense of relief to have come to this conclusion.  Stepping aside with the resolve of never returning means a full stop can finally be put at the end of this story.   

Our God is the God of restoration and I believe wholeheartedly that if He sees that this will be beneficial for all involved, He’ll restore it in His own perfect timing.

So, have a good life.  Goodbye and God bless.

♥ Ames