…becoming single has shown me that it wasn’t that my desire to marry [was] wrong in [and] of itself. It was just that it was the wrong time. I was willing to settle in with Mr. Anybody instead of waiting patiently for Mr. Right. Sure he seemed to be Right, but that was because I would not consider any other option. It also had to be the right time for me [to] understand such truth…
What about God? Where was he? Couldn’t he have told me this ahead of time to save heartache? Absolutely – He [is] big enough and capable enough to tell any of his children anything at anytime. That isn’t how he works. Trust isn’t anything if everything in life was a given. Trust needs uncertainty. God was there beside me and waiting in my heart, just as he has ever since I first believed. He was waiting for me to ask him. When I finally hit the brick wall brokenhearted, He was the one to heal and restore me. He showed me that pursuing Him was far more satisfying that pursuing any guy or any diamond or anything on earth. If and when I do meet Mr. Right, Jesus will be the first one to show me how it was worth the wait.
These could have been my words… I couldn’t agree with this more. I’m so glad He saved me from making such a horrible mistake. I think I knew deep down that I would have been settling for less than my heart’s desire but I blocked it out, having decided that I knew better than all the godly counsel that had cautioned me. I know without a doubt that going down that path would have eventually led to compromise and then sorrow and then resentment. How gracious He was/is to have saved me from… well, myself.
I now have ‘heart’ knowledge (as opposed to just ‘head’ knowledge) of the valuable time that is ‘singleness’. My heart, time, emotions and energy can be focused solely on Him and I know there are things that I can do now that would not be as feasible if I was in a relationship or had other commitments to think about. It took me until I was on the other end of heartache before I realised how good I had it lol *sigh*
Before, I was single but always longing to be attached. But now, I’m single and embracing this season of my life, loving every moment of it ;). Praise God! Though marriage is still a hope for the future, I feel like I can honestly say that Jesus would be enough, He is enough… He always was. Without realising it, I think I desired marriage for the wrong reasons… like, this is just what you do, that’s what would count as having made it or having success etc. Not that I wanted to get married straight away but more that it was what I had my eye on. I had been guarding my heart all those years and I guess in a moment of misjudgment, I let my guard down and the rest is history. However, now (by the grace of God) marriage is not the goal, Jesus is. If marriage is an avenue for me to know more of God, then bring it! If not, I’d rather be single than lose out on intimacy with the Almighty.
*sigh* lol this was not the post that I had in mind for tonight. I was intending to post about another haircut on the other blog haha but I guess that’ll have to wait. There’s a time and place for everything under the sun and everything will fall into place in His own good time, I’m certain of that :). And right now, I’m certain I need to go to sleep!
Night blog-world :).