Found this interesting:Pre-forgiveness is prerequisite before you can truly forgive someone | Rick Thomas.
From my personal experience, I think I just jumped straight to ‘forgiveness’ because it was the ‘Christian’ thing to do rather than work it through with God and allow Him to ‘adjust my heart so that I could genuinely forgive. In hindsight, that’s probably why I swung from being ok with stuff that had happened and resentment, bitterness or discouragement.
“You will be like a kite in the wind. Your response to the offender will depend on how you’re feeling, the type of sin sinned against you, the kind of relationship you have with the person, their attitude, your attitude, and the cravings of your heart.”
I think I am at Step 4 now-“The sin has been neutralized so you can discuss it from God’s perspective, your perspective, and the former offender’s perspective.”
“We must, by the grace of God, filter the events of our lives through the filter of God’s sovereignty. We then humbly accept those events as part of His good work in our lives. If we do this then we have a mature understanding and practice of biblical forgiveness.”