Whoa. I just heard the most profound thing… so basic, but so true: ‘There’s no testimony without a test.’
There comes a time when you realised that you’ve tried your hardest, but nothing’s worked…your own methods aren’t sustainable, you continue to live under condemnation, you hate yourself for still being consumed by guilt and shame… you should be over this already, what are you doing wrong? Shake it off! What’s your problem?
When you start talking to yourself again and fight tears while you lie in bed, it’s time to get help. You’ll get there, I promise… it’s just taking soooooo much longer than you had anticipated.
If anyone’s been holding their breath for Part 2 of ‘An Essay of a Different Kind’, well, don’t. I don’t know when it’ll be written or if it will be. Too many other things need to get sorted out first.
Prayers for a good night sleep are what I need.