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turned tables

FYI, the associated picture with this post has little or no relevance to the content… it was purely one of the pictures that came up when I typed ‘the tables have turned’ into Google Images :D.

Hmmm…hmmm…it’s hard to know where to start.  It has been a thoroughly draining week but not without its high points as well.  The support I’ve been given has been amazing :).  To random hugs in the law school corridors, to texts and emails of prayers and support, to the offers of passing notes from classes I’d miss… I’m so very grateful.  I feel so overwhelmed by the care and concern that has actually come specifically from my fellow law students… I really love the sense of community in the JD, where we look out for each other without the kind of pretence or suspicion that seem to be associated (incorrectly) with law schools.  A sense of belonging was something that had definitely been lacking in my undergrad… I really love being able to wave or say hello to at least half a dozen familiar faces from the entrance of our building to the classroom… makes it a joy to go to uni :P.

To be honest, I felt like my opportunity to get to know my year-level was kinda stalled last year because I just didn’t feel like going out and socialising… I think I had expended so much of my emotional energy in the first part of 2010 that it just took too much effort to be the ‘me’ that I knew was hiding away inside, mending and recouping itself.  I was ready to do a better job this year and it was going well until…well, I said this wasn’t gonna be a death related post so I won’t mention what happened again ^^’.  But its been good :).  Even those friendships that I hadn’t made much time for outside of the classroom last year have been sustained and I want to begin investing time into those around in a more meaningful way again… once I fully recover from this week’s main event.  I was fearful that I would be disappointing another friend today by passing up on her party but thank God she was understanding… we’ve only just got over a bit of a lull in our friendship so I was scared that the non-appearance would rock the boat again… *phew*

I don’t know where this post is going at the moment but I do know that I want to get to the point where I talk about the ‘tables turning’… so I’m just gonna skip there now ;).  This week, I have had some conversations that just blew me away… one in particular that left me in awe of God’s goodness and one that left me in awe of God’s grace.  I will be quite frank about a few things just because I guess this is part of the purpose of this blog… to be as transparent as possible in a way that I haven’t yet mustered up the complete confidence to be in person.

First, a long overdue catch up with a dear, dear friend.  I don’t know if he still reads here anymore but I hope I won’t embarrassing him by saying that he’ll always hold a special place in my heart… we pledged a while ago that we’d be friends for life and that’s one promise that I know won’t get broken.  My FFL (‘friend for life’, people… work with me here hehe) and I have an interesting history (which would make for some great creative writing one day) but we’re both at the stage where we know that nothing romantic would ever happen between us just because we are two very different people…and there’s nothing wrong with that :).  So with that understanding set in stone, I was totally exciting to meet up with him again and see where he was in his life.  Every time I think of him, I shake my head in amazement at what God can and will do if we’re willing to give Him space in our lives to do it.  I remember a time when I was doing all the encouraging, sharing my experiences with God and now HE was the one encouraging me and adding fuel to my desire to live out what it means to be a true and real follower of Christ.  I could feel a goofy grin plaster itself on my face during our time of fellowship because I was just so happy to see how much he loves my Jesus and how the tables have turned in a way… I believe that his understanding of God has surpassed mine, perhaps in part to the strong Christian friends God has surrounded him with, which only wants me to pursue God more… so dear FFL, thank you for being a breath of fresh air and motivating me in my own walk with the Lord :).

The other conversation was definitely an unplanned one to say the least.  Now that I’ve looked back on it a few times, I find it slightly amusing… it’s not everyday that you get sworn at… well, I rarely engage myself in conversations that lead to this particular kind of outburst.  In the silly boy’s defence, he had every right to be angry because it probably was unwise of me to divulge details that some persons just don’t have the maturity to understand… but in the same breath, I’m getting to the stage where I don’t really care if people know what happened in the past… because it only works in favour of showing how amazing God’s grace has been and how He can and still wants to make something beautiful out of my mistakes… yes, do you see it? I said MY mistakes… I’ve owned up to them and happy to talk to ANYONE about it.  That’s what I think it means to be a Christian… that we are not ashamed of talking about how we’ve failed and fallen because through our transparency, people can see the God of second chances, the God of new beginnings, the God who sacrificed it all so that we sinful beings could have an intimate relationship with our Creator… if we’d only realise our need and innate and in-build desire for Him.  Oh, this conversation left me in awe of God’s grace because you have no idea how glad I am that the plans we’d made for ourselves fell through lols.  Enough said.

ANYWAY, this has turned into a much longer post than I intended and I have many-a-things to do today as, in the words of my Crim lecturer, ‘Labour Day is NOT a uni holiday’… :P

Enjoy the long weekend Victorians and prayers for Japan’s earthquake victims!!

♥ Ames

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