In Biblical times, 40 was a very significant number. Noah was tested when it rained 40 days and 40 nights, the Israelites wandered the deserts for 40 years, Jesus fasted for 40 days before going into public ministry… just some key examples that come to mind… I’ve also heard somewhere, that it generally takes 40 days to make some action into a habit… it also takes roughly 40 days to break a bad habit as well :P.
Well, at the very start of this year I thought I would intentionally start a good habit. I made a silent pledge that I would make every effort to spend time reading God’s Word each day before I began any of the tasks I’d set myself to do each day. It’s been tough these last two weeks having to wake up, shower, get dressed and then hop on a train to work each morning but I’d already push through the hard yards at the start and now it’s not a chore but a pleasure to spend time with my Heavenly Father each morning, knowing that I will have His Word hidden in my heart wherever I go, meditating on His promises and His will for His children…(whoa, long sentence!) and so really, this post is just to commemorate that I’ve done it! Its been 40 days (well 41 by now because I forgot that January has 31 days lols!) and I’ve seen the fruits of keeping God first place in my life. Everything has fallen into place so well, and more perfectly than I could ever have fashioned myself. I feel like I have permission to dream again. I feel like I have permission to laugh freely and effortlessly again. I feel like I’m more alive again… sometimes it does take more than 40 days to detox and rid yourself of the ugliness of the past, but trust me, it’ll happen and when it does, He’ll restore what once was lost.
Actually scrap that, don’t trust me. Trust Him… He said He’ll turn our mourning into dancing, our sorrow into joy (Psalm 30:11). Trusting is hard when you have been hurt. I still find it hard at times… but I guess I realised that if there is anyone that I can trust, it’s Him. He always has my best intentions at heart. Even if people around me have their best intentions for me, they can’t see the future, they don’t see the bigger picture and they don’t always get it right, purely because they are flawed beings like me. But He can see the future, He does have the bigger picture and no matter how many times I’ve fallen, somehow He can turn my mess into something right :).
Lols, I always write more than I intend to when I come here… ok, no more blog musings until this essay is finito!
*buries head back down in the books*