Home » Heart to Heart » No, Thank you.

No, Thank you.

He jokingly suggested that I should have mentioned him in a ‘no thank you’ section when I did my final post on the old blog but in truth, now that enough time has passed, there is probably a lot that I could have thanked him for.  I don’t want to dwell too much on it so I’ll keep it short.  Here it goes…

Thank you for being impulsive, for being insecure, for being an emotional wreck, for not thinking things through before you speak, for being immature, for being needy, for being clingy, for your lack of faith and patience, for all your bad habits, for causing friction between my parents and I, for enticing me to fall in love with you, for convincing me I could potentially spend the rest of my life with you, for not adhering to healthy boundaries, for tempting me to forsake my values, for going back on your word, for resuming old ties so quickly, for breaking my heart, for shattering the dream of that little girl inside of me, for disappointing me, for causing me to doubt myself, for causing me to shed many tears, for betraying my trust, for hurting me and causing me pain, for almost ruining my life.*

Hmmm… feels a bit mean to leave it like this.  Just so you know that I’m not holding onto any bitterness…

Thank you for teaching me how beautiful a relationship could be, for showing me it’s OK to take some time out during SWOTVAC to chill, for teaching me how right God was to command us to keep ourselves pure in mind and body for the one we’ll marry, for being my best friend (even if just for a brief window of time), for sharing my dreams and fears, for being the shoulder I cried on, for helping me ease the concern that I would be a horrible kisser (lols to that!), for introducing me to your friends, for showing me what it means and how it feels to be in love, for showing me how easy it is to fall into temptation, for helping me understand what it means to really show God’s love to someone who has done nothing to deserve it, for being the catalyst of my own experience in surrendering all and accepting God’s grace, for giving me a live example to practice what it really means to forgive, let go and move on.

Because of all that happened this past year, I AM a better, stronger and wiser individual, more in tune with who I am and the kind of person I want to strive to be.

And for those life lessons, I thank you.

♥ April

*I’ve since been told that he could have never ruined my life even if he tried… I guess that’s true, because He wouldn’t have let that happen :). -9th February 2011


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